Giving to the Needy: A Purim Mitzvah

The PJ Library Blog

AS YOUR FAMILY gears up for hamantaschen-baking, mask-making, delivering gifts to friends (mishloach manot), feasting, and the costume parade, don’t forget the needy this Purim.

MATANOT L’EVYONIM

Giving to the Needy: A Purim MitzvahIt is said that during 356 BCE in ancient Persia, the Jews were saved from disaster by brave Queen Esther and her uncle, Mordechai. To celebrate and give thanks for being saved, the Jews were directed to fulfill four Purim mitzvot, one of which is the giving of gifts to the poor (matanot l’evyonim).

As explained on the Jewish Federation website’s article, “Purim: Acts of Kindness on Purpose,” fulfilling the mitzvah of matanot l’evyonim can be “as simple as dropping coins into a tzedakah box or making donations of food or clothing to a local pantry or shelter.”

For families looking for a more narrow interpretation of matanot l’evyonim, the AISH.com article, “Gifts to the Poor,” explains the “in-depth laws for how to do matanot l’evyonim correctly.”

Either way, giving gifts to the needy presents a fulfilling, hands-on Purim activity for PJ Library families of any size.

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For more information, recipes and great ideas for Purim, check out Jvillage's Purim Holiday Kit. 

For more Purim news, check out our    page.

The Last Jewish Mother on Television

‘The Big Bang Theory’ marks the end of an era. But Asian-American mothers may pick up where Jewish mothers left off.

By Marjorie Ingall for Tablet Magazine

We have seen the last old-school, Jewishly observant, housecoat-wearing, perpetually bellowing, all-devouring, ultra-controlling, super-insular, Yiddishly inflected, son-emasculating Jewish Mother on network television.

Howard Wolowitz’s unnamed mother on the Emmy-winning sitcom The Big Bang Theory never appeared on camera; she just screamed at her son from other rooms in their house or over the phone. Carol Ann Susi, the actress who played Mrs. Wolowitz, died in November, and her last episode aired the same month. While there has been no official announcement about whether the role will be recast (a CBS publicist answered all my other questions but repeatedly ignored that one, despite my noodging tone that would have made Mrs. Wolowitz proud), the show’s executive producer Bill Prady told TV Guide, “There are no plans for any other actress to play the role.”

Mrs. Wolowitz was a throwback to vintage Jewish Mother jokes and monstrous stereotypes, to Philip Roth’s Mrs. Portnoy, to Herman Wouk’s Rose Morgenstern, and to Philip Wylie’s entire Generation of Vipers. She was smothering yet selfish, a gaping maw of need and hunger. And her still-living-at-home adult son yelled back at her and claimed to want to be free of her—an engineer, he actually became an astronaut to escape—but was also dependent on her.

To understand their folie a deux, check out a sample of their dialogue. (As you read it in your head, be sure to scream it.)

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What I Learned While Planning a Bat Mitzvah for My Daughter With Disabilities

By Cindy Kaplan for Kveller

February is Jewish Disabilities Awareness Month. In honor of JDAM, Kveller will be publishing a series of articles related to parenting and disabilities. This series is in partnership with the Ruderman Family Foundation.

Planning a bat mitzvah for my daughter, who has special needs, touches on raw and complex emotions that I sometimes keep buried deep below the surface. But the other day in yoga class, lying in savasana, my mind wandered. Free of distracting thoughts, emotions rose to the surface and tears wound their way down my cheeks. The complexities involved in planning a bat mitzvah for my daughter, who may or may not have a clue as to what a bat mitzvah really is, hit me.

My daughter Mira has significant cognitive delays, is non-verbal, and is very challenged physically. The fact that she will become a bat mitzvah is amazing! Our synagogue welcomes her with open arms and they are excited to have her pave the way as their first special needs bat mitzvah. Gateways, the organization that has worked with Mira over the last six years, has kept my confidence going and, over the years, they have broadened our understanding of what a bar or bat mitzvah can look like. The people who work at Gateways make it possible for every child, despite their special needs, to become a bar or bat mitzvah.

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We Need To Talk About Snow Days

By Deborah Siegel for Kveller

This week I found myself in the familiar predicament that thousands of other working parents found themselves in too: School cancelled, again. No backup childcare plan in place. Work commitments up the wazoo. As the parent in my dyad with the more flexible schedule, it’s on me to solve the problem, leaving me furious and incredulous anew.

It’s the Groundhog Day dilemma that repeats with each generation, like an unwanted legacy we can’t shake. It’s the snowball that never melts. After 40 years of fighting for the recognition that workers have families too, it’s still a truth nearly universally unacknowledged that a working parent mother on a snow day is screwed. As Brigid Shulte reminds us in her very good book “Overwhelmed,” the efforts of feminists to secure a smidgeon of the working family supports our sisters have in, say, Sweden, fail time and again. Our country touts “family values,” then leaves working families out in the cold.

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Little White Lie

By Jenny Levison for Jewniverse

Lacey Schwartz didn’t set out to be a filmmaker, but a story too personal to ignore dropped in her lap. Little White Lie is her documentary film about her family history, secrets, and ultimately her decision to face—and tell—the truth.

Born into a white Jewish family in Woodstock, NY, Schwartz always looked different—i.e., darker-skinned—than the other people in her family. Her mother told her that she took after her Sicilian grandfather. As her high school boyfriend, who was black, notes in the film, “White people will believe anything.

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I Was Shamed For Breastfeeding in a Synagogue

B.J. Epstein for Kveller

I’m not a religious person, though being Jewish is meaningful to me. So when on a recent visit to see my relatives in the States, my wife, daughter, and I were asked to attend Shabbat services with them, we agreed. I thought it would be a nice opportunity to connect to my background. But by the end of the evening, I deeply regretted going, and I wish I didn’t feel that way.

The issue was not about the religiosity of the evening, or the specific prayers offered or songs sung. It wasn’t about the cheesy but sweet music played. Or even the lateness of the evening, considering we’d just flown from the UK to the US and could barely keep our eyes open. The issue, surprisingly enough, was breastfeeding.

For me, Judaism is about family. I think of Jews as being family-oriented (not, of course, that people of other cultures or religions aren’t also family-focused; I just find that Judaism means family to me). So I assumed that families, and all that families entail, would be warmly welcomed in synagogue.

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My Kids Live 10 Months For 2, and I Live For 10 pm

By Allison Cohen for Raising Kvell

My life is as a voyeur. In fact, social media has turned us all into complete voyeurs. We follow blogs of people we have never met, are cheerleaders for Team Ethan, and wait for the next post from Superman Sam’s mom.  Who hasn’t clicked on the Facebook page of the first person that broke their heart way back when? Not to mention trying to keep up with the Instagram pages of our kids and their 617 friends. Oh and all those beautiful “how to get beachy waves” tutorials—I keep watching, and it ain’t working. And, it is about to get much worse…

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