By Ruth Messinger and Francesca Sternfeld for the Jewish Daily Forward
So,
imagine sharing a large apartment with someone else who loves life,
enjoys good food, cooks well, reads intensively and extensively [but not
always the same material] and is not always but often willing to hear
about your day or your life and offer wise advice. Those of us who throw
ourselves into our work and our studies as we do need just such a
person to share with, to collapse with and to consult at the end of what
are often very long days.
Well, here we are, eight months in and
planning on an ongoing shared living relationship over the next year or
two. We each cherish the benefits and find few challenges and no
obstacles. The fact that we are grand-daughter and grandmother is an
added plus, but a very big one; it brings us together at a point in our
lives when we might otherwise not be so connected — something which
happens all too often and is a sad consequence of our modern lives.
New
York, of course, is the key. Ruth has lived here almost all of her
life, adores the West Side, travels a lot for work, but relishes coming
home. And Francesca grew up elsewhere [Salt Lake City and Miami], had a
few college years near the City, knew what it offered in terms of
people, culture and food and decided on a visit a year ago that this was
where her body and soul needed to be. And it is a city that a 28 year
old student can live in with only part time work but to be sure not
easily, and not on the West Side absent a large slew of roommates.
Ruth:
I have a crazy travel and work schedule, and a husband who works in
Connecticut during the week. I love, love, love having a smart,
thoughtful, passionate, caring housemate — the fact that she is my
granddaughter is the icing on the cake. I love knowing something about
her life and sharing good food, wise discussion, the New York Times and
shopping suggestions. I am glad she puts up with my penchant for old
movies and bad TV [better than my husband I might add]. I love having a
restaurant, movie, theater companion who nudges me to neighborhoods and
experiences I might otherwise miss. I love being reminded what a serious
exercise regimen looks like, understanding that Francesca benefits from
meditation which I still need to learn to do, seeing her build a
spectacular wardrobe out of the best of two local thrift shops and
learning from her about parts of the world she knows intimately that I
do not — including Egypt and Italy. Together we make the world’s best
granola.
Continue reading.
The
first time I remember talking to Oscar about his younger brother Saul’s
special needs, he couldn’t have been more than 5 years old. Definitely
still in preschool. There was something–though I can’t remember exactly
what–that Oscar thought Saul would like and he said, “Saul is going to
do this!” and started flapping his hands and bouncing up and down. I
lost it. 
The
children’s service at the synagogue where I teach on Shabbat–filled
with singing, dancing, and prayer–is saving me during my never-ending
divorce proceedings. Though designed for a young audience, the hour
provides an opportunity to reflect on the past week, to give thanks, and
to ask for strength in the week ahead. I listen to a few words about
the Parsha (the weekly Torah portion), kiss the Torah with the children,
and take comfort in the momentary peace.
I
love music. I’ve been singing all my life. I belted out an elaborate
rendition of “Old Macdonald” in my yellow bathing suit for the cable guy
when I was 3 and sang on stage throughout adolescence and college. So
much of my life has been set to music; every year a different show, a
different song.