21 Parenting Tips I Learned from Genesis

1. Children will do things you tell them not to do (2:17)

2. They will blame each other (3:12)

3. You will curse at them, or perhaps want to (3:17)

4. Not all siblings get along all that well (4:8)

5. Children babble and make a lot of noise (11:19)

6. Your children may have to go off on their own journeys (12:1)

7. You may love your children so much that you put yourself at risk (19:26)

8. Do not, under any circumstances, let your children get you drunk so they can have sex with you even if they think it is the end of the world (19:32)

9. It’s possible to become pregnant even if you aren’t expecting it (21:2)

10. Be careful whom you invite to your weaning party (21:9)

11. Listen to your partner, even if you disagree with him/her (21:12)

12. It’s hard to watch your children suffer, keep your eyes open and look for the well (21:19)

13. You might sometimes want to kill your offspring, but keep your eyes open and look for the ram (22:13)

14. Don’t play favorites (Rebecca and Isaac re: Jacob and Esau; Jacob and Joseph)

Continue reading.

Research Indicates Early Engagement Crucial For Unaffiliated

Advocates for Jewish early childhood education and full-time care argue that the first years of a child’s life offer a critical opportunity to engage young children and their parents.

A 2010 study that Brandeis University professor Mark Rosen conducted for UJA-Federation of New York’s Beginning Jewish Families Task Force, focused on five regions in the New York area with growing numbers of unaffiliated Jewish families with small children. That study, now cited by many in the field, found that most Jewish institutions attract only the most motivated families, even as countless other parents express an openness to Jewish experiences.

The study noted that when a young family becomes involved with secular institutions instead of Jewish institutions, parents are “less likely to establish friendships with other parents who are involved in Jewish life, and will be less likely to encounter Jewish role models.”

Since the study’s release, UJA-Federation has funded various outreach efforts for young unaffiliated families in Lower Manhattan and Brownstone Brooklyn and also helped launch Kveller, a website for parents of Jewish children.

The study has also shaped the thinking of others in Jewish early childhood education, like Cathy Rolland of the Union for Reform Judaism.

“Many people in the field are out of touch with today’s families,” she said, adding that they expect the current generation of parents to seek out Jewish life on their own.

Today’s parents “will go to a Jewish early childhood program only if it’s excellent,” Rolland said.

The URJ recently launched a lay-professional support group for Reform temples seeking to strengthen their outreach to young families and to improve their early childhood programs.

At the same time, the Jewish Education Project expanded on the Rosen study last fall, conducting focus groups with unaffiliated new Jewish mothers in Brownstone Brooklyn, to learn more about what they want and don’t want.

The focus groups pointed to some contradictory findings: many Jewish mothers said they valued ethnic and racial diversity in their friendships, yet often found themselves gravitating socially to other Jewish women.

The research also found that expatriate Israeli mothers and American Jewish mothers want different types of programming.

Five Things I Don’t Understand About Sheryl Sandberg & Marissa Mayer

By Mayim Bialik

With the publication of the Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In, and the related decision by Yahoo’s CEO Marissa Mayer to no longer allow working from home (she herself returned to work two weeks postpartum albeit with a nursery built for her son next to her office) there has been a lot of “feminist” stuff swirling around the media and my head. And it’s getting crowded in there.

I want to share some things that I have been considering. Mind you, these are just thoughts. The issues at hand are so broad, so complex, and so overwhelming, that I have decided to just throw out there my initial thoughts and reactions to the media storm swirling and see what happens next.

Here are “Five Things That Currently Don’t Make Sense To Me.”

1. Returning to work two weeks postpartum is not good for your body. You’re still bleeding from birth. That’s a pretty strong indicator to chill out and maybe not return to a corporate office. Two weeks is a time of tremendous hormonal upheaval. Your body is actively trying to recover from the significant event called birth whereby a tiny person who has been in your body for 40 weeks comes out from your uterus and breathes air and all of that newborn stuff they do for the first time. Whether you had a C-section or vaginal birth, medicated, natural, homebirth (woohoo!), whatever… two weeks is a ridiculously short amount of time.

2. Since when is having a baby something to check off the list? People are talking about women in this day and age having a baby as if it’s buying a car, or refinancing the mortgage, or borrowing a car to stop off at the market: “Did you have that baby you mentioned wanting?” “Did you find the right time to have a baby? There’s a narrow window in there you want to hit on, you know.” “When are you going to have that baby? ‘Cause I’m going to need you to get back soon.”

Continue reading.

Chol Ha Moed Pesach: The Intermediate Days of Passover

So, you cleaned for Passover, and are making or about to make or attend a great Seder (or two seders).  So what do you do, in what is known as Chol ha Moed, the Intermediate Days of Passover? Is there anything left to do before the final part of the holiday, starting on Sunday night, than to eat matzah? And what is the purpose of these “Intermediate Days”?

Even though, according to Jewish law, we are allowed to do things on the Intermediate days that are not allowed during the holidays themselves, such as driving or lighting a fire, these days are “mini-holidays” and should be special. It is a good idea to make the most out of these days by dressing a bit fancier than usual, and having a nice meal every day with meat and wine (and of course, matzah!).

The Intermediate Days are a great time for family. Try inviting friends over or distant relatives you haven’t seen in a while. It is a good time to go to the park or the zoo with your little ones, or to that exhibit at the museum you’ve been wanting to see for ages. Give your family that “Quality Time” you’ve been reserving for a holiday. Read with young children, take walks, or hire a babysitter and go out on a “date” with your spouse.

Passover has been called “The Festival of Freedom”. This applies not only to the holidays of Passover, but to the Intermediate Days as well. These days are a good time to reflect on how you’ve been spending your time, and to think about how to release yourself from those things that drag you down. Are you often feeling excessive stress? Is your boss giving your trouble? Do you often have negative thoughts or feelings of defeatism? Use the power of these days to think about how you can free yourself from all Pharaohs, both internal and external.

Passover Fun for the Kids: It’s Raining FROGS!

 If you’re inviting children to your seder, it’s always nice to have a few fun things planned for them. Sure we all love belting out all eleven verses of Chad Gadya at the top of our lungs (anybody?) but it is a long meal with lots of adult talking going on. Last year our friends hosted a seder and had adorable plague masks for the children to pick out and wear. It was a great addition that made the meal more kid-friendly.

This year I came up with a little favor for the kids at your Passover table. And for less than $1 per child it provides endless entertainment.

You’ll Need:

Sticky Frogs

White cardstock

Color printer

Kveller printable Passover tags

Sandwich bags

Scissors

Stapler

Double Sided Tape

Continue reading.

Passover Guide for Families

Pesach, known as Passover in English, is a major Jewish spring festival, commemorating the Exodus from Egypt over 3,000 years ago. The ritual observance of this holiday centers around a special home service called the seder (meaning "order") and a festive meal; the prohibition of chametz (leaven); and the eating of matzah (an unleavened bread). On the fifteenth day of Nisan in the Hebrew calendar, Jews gather with family and friends in the evening to read from a book called the hagaddah, meaning "telling," which contains the order of prayers, rituals, readings and songs for the Passover seder. Today, the holiday is a celebration of freedom and family.

The URJ's (Union of Reform Judaism) guide includes:

History

Customs and Rituals

Glossary of Terms

Interactive Seder Plate 

Is Passover 7 or 8 Days?

In addition you will find Passover family rituals, Passover music, tailoring your seder to children of various ages, craft ideas for children, recipes from different traditions as well as all kinds of other interesting facts.

How Do You Explain the Violence in Israel to Young Kids?

 “Abba, what are those doors up there?”

“I’m not sure, I think it is some kind of a fence.”

“Can we go visit them?”

“No not tonight, sweetie, we are going home now.”

We are driving back from Tzur Hadassah, a suburb of Jerusalem within the Green Line (which separates Israel and the Palestinian territories). The quickest route back into Jerusalem (and into the beds of our two sleepy children) is past Betar Illit and kvish haminharot, the “tunnel road” which connects Jerusalem to the Gush Etzion bloc in the West Bank.

The “doors” my son is referring to are concrete slabs that are suspended overhead at an angle to protect passing cars from stoning and shooting by local Arab villagers.

“Why are there all the policemen, Abba?”

They are soldiers at two checkpoints actually. One that we pass to leave Israel proper and the other we pass through to re-enter.

“We are going inside and outside of Israel, sweetie.”

“Why are they carrying guns?”

Our 4-year-old is obsessed with guns and all other kinds of weapons. While we don’t allow any in the house, he easily turns his fiddlesticks into bows and arrows, and a shower rod into a sword. He likes to be protected from the “bad guys” at every turn.

“To protect us and to make sure that the bad guys don’t hurt anyone.”

“Do they use them?”

“I don’t think they do; maybe they would fire a shot on the ground to scare a bad guy.”

The conversation makes me realize just how much our son, Tamir, is taking in and trying to make sense of the world around him. He loves Israel and he loves Jerusalem, in the ways that any classical Zionist would be proud. His new favorite color is gold because “Imma, Jerusalem is the Golden city!” He then launches into a version of Yerushalayim Shel Zahav that only approximates what Naomi Shemer had in mind. He wakes up a week into our month-long trip here imploring, “Imma, can we go to the Kotel (Western wall) today, please?” And he points out all the “Tamir trees” (date-palm trees) that line the Jerusalem streets. In short, he feels at home here.

Continue reading.