Monday, February 9, 2015

What I Learned While Planning a Bat Mitzvah for My Daughter With Disabilities

By Cindy Kaplan for Kveller

February is Jewish Disabilities Awareness Month. In honor of JDAM, Kveller will be publishing a series of articles related to parenting and disabilities. This series is in partnership with the Ruderman Family Foundation.

Planning a bat mitzvah for my daughter, who has special needs, touches on raw and complex emotions that I sometimes keep buried deep below the surface. But the other day in yoga class, lying in savasana, my mind wandered. Free of distracting thoughts, emotions rose to the surface and tears wound their way down my cheeks. The complexities involved in planning a bat mitzvah for my daughter, who may or may not have a clue as to what a bat mitzvah really is, hit me.

My daughter Mira has significant cognitive delays, is non-verbal, and is very challenged physically. The fact that she will become a bat mitzvah is amazing! Our synagogue welcomes her with open arms and they are excited to have her pave the way as their first special needs bat mitzvah. Gateways, the organization that has worked with Mira over the last six years, has kept my confidence going and, over the years, they have broadened our understanding of what a bar or bat mitzvah can look like. The people who work at Gateways make it possible for every child, despite their special needs, to become a bar or bat mitzvah.

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